The Blog Awards And My Front Tooth
Got this in my email today, and suddenly it felt all too real for me! I started to run in my mind the inventory in my closet — no, I ran towards the closet! — and then feverishly thumbed through my hung clothes. Black! You can’t go wrong in black! Ugh, I have to buy that Penshoppe Recut jeans that I’ve been salivating over… Stop! Neither Cher in her outrageous diva outfit would pop in there nor would there be celebrities in bold blinding bling with swooning fans and shark-like paparazzis in attendance, so why the fuss? I had to slap myself a li’l bit, as you would some hysterical mama, to remind me this ain’t no Hollywood as they say in ebonics/blackspeak. Just being around bodacious, brazen, even brash bright bloggers would surely beat watching B movies on a blah Friday night (what’s up with all these “B” words?). Okay. Well then, I’ll have until 5pm that day (actual Awards Night), to have my right lateral incisor (one of my front teeth) plastic crown fixed, nay, replaced. But I’m broke and it’s such a *bleep* (another B word). I was eating mixed-nuts when it loosened up, so I accidentally chewed it. (Crrrunchhh ! Oh, the sound of a horrifying realization that what you were enthusiastically masticating on is a 3,000-peso artificial tooth jacket and not just any green pea!). Talk about the wrong tooth with the wrong food at the wrong time! Were I an unbeliever in Murphy’s Law, this could have been my “Hallelujah” moment, except that it was an “AAARRGGGHH!” shout instead. Sigh.
Back to the email: it says I can “come as I please“, so I guess it’s alright to attend with a fang-like front tooth. Hmmm… would wearing animal prints — leopard or tiger? — make or break the look or would a subtle ‘Twilight‘ aura — white-powdered face and black eyeliners with a little hint of a blood dripping on my right lip corner — say I am not that blasé yet? And if I do come as myself sans the effort to cover up my dental booboo, will photo-ops be actual opportunities or will these photos haunt me someday? Maybe I should start to practice grinning without flashing my teeth and try not to smile like Jim Carrey so no one would know about my poor little tooth (except you, the reader, which could mean, oh, everyone from everywhere, including the Awards Night audience! But surely, you can keep a little secret, can’t you?).
Hold on, I’m trying to be a Wordsmith and not some Close-up model last time I check. Who gives a dentist’s drill about my tooth anyway except, well, the dentists? And in case the Tooth Fairy won’t make it until my last Cinderella hour to rescue me, I shall rely on Calliope and Clio (Muses of Lyric Poetry and History, respectively, to the non-Greeks) to make me look good at least on paper.
Philippine Blog Awards Night, you will surely be digitized even if I grow another fang or two dangling in my nose! [d]*