[ the digitizer ]*

i am therefore i blog.

Posts Tagged ‘humor

Receipts Don’t Lie

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What is it that the more of it that we possess, the lesser that we can actually possess?

If you answered “DEBT” to that one, then you need financial counseling (paging Suze Orman). I’m talking about RECEIPTS as inversely proportional to the actual money we have at hand, the ghosts of the cash past. They are the tangible manifestations of the virtues TRUTH and ASSURANCE: the testament that money actually changed hands (that’s why they call it “cold, hard cash” because they seldom get the chance to warm in our hands) and the promise that it may change back to the same hands again (for those who have returned crappy items before can now say, “Amen!”). They tell a story of our greed or need, the contracts of our endless bittersweet affair with what the Bible calls “filthy lucre”. That in this flux of perpetual wants, they are at the crux of the transience of things, the legacy of impermanence.

Heck, they’re just receipts, and I don’t have to be poetic to say that we have one too many of them.

Yesterday, while rummaging through my black M&FG satchel bag, I realized it was a month’s worth full of them. Normally, I would toss the trivial ones and keep “the testaments, and the promise, and the legacy whatever”, just in case. Then, a ka-ching moment : why not let these receipts tell their own tales — the good, the bad, the cheap and the chic! What would really suck is I will have to scan each one that I will use; but hey, I am not the [the digitizer]* for nothing! Thus, the birthing of my newest baby/category: Receipts Don’t Lie ( “and I’m starting to feel it’s right…” thanks, Shakira).

P. S.

Got receipts that beg to be heard? Better send them over to me, ilovethedigitizer@gmail.com, scanned and accompanied by their stories, before they get the digital equivalent of an Alzheimer’s (where the ink is time-erased or scheduled to magically disappear from the thermal paper they are printed on). It’s a clever way for the merchants to legally expunge our legacy of impermanence, dashing the virtues those receipts actually represent. What a paradox joke, no? [d]*

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Written by nealm

8 September 2009 at 8:09 PM

Humoroid : “Gay Proven”

with 10 comments

Life is full of idiosyncracy that it can unexpectedly hit your funny bone. To digitize it gives one the satisfaction of a story-teller and the bragging rights.

I thought why not post downright hilarious or utterly ridiculous snippets of life in this new category I fondly call “Humoroid“? No offense to those who think that having the “Big H” ain’t a laughing matter, but hey, if you’ve got the real thing and you will have to live with it anyway, you might as well  chuckle it away. Don’t take your Preparation-H out just yet because this Humoroid aims to share a hearty laugh at authentic, spontaneous and delightfully humorous photos (at least the ones I  have personally taken) too amusing to ignore. To complete the shared fun and experience, the readers may send their wittiest, most creative, and funniest caption for the featured photo (please see Guidelines below).

Gay Proven

About this photo:

A friend and I were on our way to the bus station from a brief visit of the rainforest park in Los Baños (Laguna, Philippines) called Pook ni Maria Makiling (Maria Makiling’s Place) when I spotted this food stand by the sidewalk in downtown Calamba. I couldn’t believe my eyes! I laughed so hard I decided to go back and take a photo of it. My friend wasn’t too keen on going back so we had to split. When I finally found the spot, I couldn’t quite get myself to ask permission from the tending ladies fearing they’d turn me down. No way I would miss out on this chance to share this breakthrough with the world, so I secretly snapped this single photo. (The ladies saw me, anyway, because I heard them chuckle and gave me knowing(?) stares. I was tempted to blurt out, “You just got digitized, ladies!” but decided that I was a blogger with an important scoop (as if) in his SD card, a material that seemed to him worth more than gold. I left in a hurry.) Still giddy, I went to catch my bus to Batangas with a childish grin carved in my face for the rest of the trip. I had to check the photo a few times to make sure it was really there. I have some captions tickling my fancy but thought it would be even more engaging and infinitely surprising to involve friends and readers to come up with catchy captions. Thus the birth of the “Humoroid” category for this blog.

I was still heady from this serendipitous moment I had the camera turned on throughout the 1-hour bus ride if and when another breakthrough presents itself to me, its chosen storyteller (obviously I had a serious case of Humoroid, okay?).

Enjoy this funny digitized snippet of this crazy thing called Life in the Philippines.

Guidelines for the caption submission:

1. Please be guided by your sense of decency and sensitivity towards others. I retain the right to moderate comments and will not approve any caption/comment I deem abusive, derogatory, hateful, or disrespectful.

2. Any reader can give your caption/comment a thumbs up or a thumbs down. The one with the highest net score will become the photo’s caption with proper attribution to the sender.

3. For this first photo, you will have until August 31 to leave your caption/comment.

4. Want to share your photos, too, for captioning? Please send the URL link of the photo or as an attachment to ilovethedigitizer@gmail.com. If they are not yours, please provide me with a link to the photo so I can properly give credit to the actual owner.

Written by nealm

12 August 2009 at 5:19 PM

Posted in Humoroid, Philippines, Random

Tagged with , , ,